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One of the most beautiful parts of life is the transient nature of everything. Coming of age involves so much of transience that change and only change becomes the very core of our existence. Then why must we resist it? As human being beings, we try so hard to maintain the status quo and keep things as they and therein lies the fallacy in the ideologies of the modern-day optimist. The comfort zone is not our friend and neither is a constantly happy state of mind. To hope for things to be normal all the time is nothing short of death sentence as it does nothing to build our emotional resilience or solution-oriented thinking. Looking back, I attribute this ability to change as one of the most important things to have shaped my personality. It made me realize the power I had in shaping my destiny.
The luminary American basketball player Sean Higgins had once said -“Every day the clock resets. Your wins don't matter. Your failures don't matter. Don't stress on what was, fight for what could be.” I draw a lot of assurance from this because it makes me believe in the dynamic power of my own will and capabilities to transform myself. The period of adolescence does bring about a sense of anxiety and eagerness to fit into this world. And because none of us have experienced it before, it makes perfect sense why neither of us know of ways in which we can cope healthily. To go through bouts of anxiety or imposter syndrome is almost natural. It can be extremely hard to look at a particularly difficult phase and not get affected or bogged down. But here’s what we need to remember- none of this is permanent.
Dr. Steindberg is right when he speaks of the incremental capacity for change and development of intelligence. This belief alone could be huge factor in building the confidence of someone who is struggling self esteem issues in their teenage years. The idea that you alone are capable of affecting your destiny can be extremely liberating. We all have the inherent capacity to face our challenges and overcome the difficult phases. The ability to shift perspectives and have faith in oneself are extremely important factors that build self-worth. And I believe realization that must be experienced by every individual.
Reading Eckhart Tolle’s Power of Now as a teenager had transformed the way I viewed success. It gave me the imagination and the perspective to understand just how much of my life depended on the way I acted in this moment. The capacity to develop my skills and intelligence coupled with self-awareness is the key step in ensuring that I am able to adapt to everything that life throws at me. The main takeaway from this is not to be constantly happy or successful, but to understand that the trial and tribulation of life can be dealt with if you have the adaptive mindset that is malleable. A mindset that is okay with being challenged, a mindset that is secure enough to understand change and the importance of it.
It takes me back to school days where I had to choose the subject that I wanted to study and I remember it being such a huge debate. I was subjected to a lot of scrutiny which created a lot of self- doubt. I was battling anxiety and I could not make anyone understand my choices. But the power Eckhart Tolle’s words transformed the way I perceived freedom and opportunity. It liberated me from the shackles of people’s expectations. I understood what it meant to believe in your own capacity to change and create an impact. This immediately changed my mindset and I was no longer worried about the outcome or – what it would look like. I had found my inner voice and I had begun to understand my purpose which again is not something that gets cemented just like that. Your sense of purpose is also always evolving- just like you.
Most importantly it helped me recognise the concept of self and how important it was for me to honour my intelligence, my ability to do well and my ability to adapt. I realized that only I had the vision and the understanding to admit that I could affect and transform my destiny. And this thought has empowered me ever since.
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